now that it's all said and done

sigh, i had to delete everything i typed,
all the inarticulate details.

vague shapes have taken over my mind.
they claim to be my thoughts,
and i surrender to them.

boo.
did i scare you?
when was the last time you were scared?

i typed, then deleted your answer just now,
maybe i've romanticized it in my head-
i tend to do that.

maybe i'm just scared right now
because if that warranted reading into, then
shouldn't this?
and if so,
is it over?

which is ironic, seeing as just last night i explained why i couldn't get over you with the fact that, if there was a chance that you weren't over us yet, why should i have any need to get over you? that would just leave two unnecessary broken hearts. mine, as i tried to let you go. and yours, from being let go and feeling a need to match my letting go. and then mine furthered, from seeing you letting go and and and... there's no end. if there's even a chance of us, i'll hold on. i can wait for you, i can.

but maybe you are over us.

and if you are-
what the heck are you doing?