flaccid

today, i had lunch with the woman with the weakest handshake in the world. it wasn't so much that her grip was weak, but rather, an absolute lack of any semblance of a grip.

it started out like any other handshake, she held out her hand and i extended my own and met hers halfway. but then things started getting a little strange. i grabbed her hand and curled my fingers around her fingers, but to my surprise, and slight disgust, her fingers remained completely flaccid and uninterested. my fingers were quite offended by the lack of effort her fingers put into this handshake. i was carrying all the weight while her hand was just suspended there as what i can only assume to be a disagreeable formality in her mind.

it seriously baffled me. after all, handshakes are kind of a big deal. they're crucial components of first impressions in the adult world and she is clearly an adult. how has she gotten by? i wonder if she's aware of her shortcoming, if this is something she does on purpose? i mean. it's not that hard to curl your fingers a little to acknowledge the other person's hand. i'm not even remotely exaggerating. her fingers didn't even tilt in a single degree or bend in the least to greet mine! they just. flaccid. that's the only world that could describe her handshake. no. not handshake. there was no shake. just "hand."