"regular jelly"

the age old question- strawberry or grape.
i enter into this conversation on average once a month-
uh, i may or may not initiate all of them.
come on, it's not entirely unlikely that i happen to look like a peanut butter and jelly connoisseur and people just feel a natural urge to approach me with their pb&j related inquiries.

anywho. i never know the answer, so clearly, their pb&j-dars are off. i mean, personally, i think it's strawberry, but that's just because i grew up on strawberry jelly in my pb&j. however, this may simply be due to my parents' general preferences; they do love their strawberry ice-cream. but then in opposition to my own authority, there are cartoons which always portray pb&j as purple. however, this is by no means conclusive and can be attributed to a number of reasons:

1. they (yes, them) ran out of strawberry-scented ink and wanting to do a quality job decided to settle for grape-scented ink rather than settle for scentless red ink.
2. they overused their red colored pencil down to a useless stub and although they tried to make it work, a hand cramp resulted that was so intense that they finally settled for the full-length purple colored pencil.
3. although recognizing strawberry to be the "regular jam," they feared that the red jam would convey communist undertones.
4. after an extensive child development psychology studies, researchers reached the conclusion that purple promoted playing nice with the other kids, or in their words "constructive peer interactions."
5. the artist didn't really care and grabbed the first color at hand which happened to be purple, if it had been green, the age old argument may have turned out to be apple or strawberry.
6. the vendor that sold the studio their colors didn't speak english and even though they meant to buy a lifetime supply of red inks for all their jam needs, the vendor gave them all purple inks and then stubbornly stood by a no returns, no exchanges policy.
7. a strict deadline was approaching and the last two things to be colored in were a fire engine and the jelly and everyone knows that fire engines gotta be red and of course, there was only one red so the person coloring in the jelly had to settle for the next best jelly color- purple.

with all this being said, i believe it goes without saying that strawberry is, in fact, regular jelly, and i am, in fact, a pb&j connoisseur after all- sweet deal.

oh boy, now i just smeared a huge streak of (delicious) peanut butter on my shirt and i can't even lick it off because it would defeat the purpose of removal since my tongue is still all peanut-buttery goodness.