red follows green

red follows green as my frustration ripens and threatens to explode into forbidden utterances. so many noises. just shut up.shutup. i can't freaking yawn. what the heck. i've had a sneeze obnoxiously stemmed by my un-cooperative body but a yawn? come on. i didn't even know that was possible. i feel so freaking claustrophobic and trapped in my nonexistant yawn and i can't break out of it in a sweet freaking release. letting go is freaking hard. i can't seem to freaking let go of you. why does everyone around me swear so much? red follows green conquering one leaf at a time, setting trees ablaze to distract from the chill that has crept into the air. but only one tree has a head of red, it's completely and utterly yielded to the conquest but no other tree around it. what's the deal? don't fruit ripen faster when they're with other fruit? and don't girls who live together start sharing a cycle? i feel so antsy and restless and all over the place and miserable and frustrated and sad. why only that tree? i relate to that tree. i don't know why. i just feel such firy turmoil in my heart, in my head. do i feel lonely? i don't even know. maybe. maybe if all the noise would stop i could figure out if i were lonely. great there's a lot of different types of cheeses. normally, i'm all for cheese. i'd even go so far to say i love cheese, but i don't want to hear it right now. i want to think. clearly, i'm not doing much thinking or organizing and i'm just doing this ridiculous finger stream of conscious therapy that really isn't very therapeutic i'm just getting even more riled up. red follows green in subsequent blinks, chasing each other around the evergreen. red and green. i never did like that secondary-primary color combination. my favorite would be purple and yellow, followed by blue and orange-but only if it's a light blue and yellow-heavy orange, not a red-heavy orange. red and green is definitely my least favorite. no matter what shade of red and what shade of green, no combination really does it for me. but i'll love any color on christmas. i just want christmas to come and shanghai to surround me once more. the noise has stopped and my fingers stalled but not my thoughts, my thoughts keep reeling without a backward glance. red follows green and everything stops.

why won't everything stop-please, just stop.