deliberation

de-liberation-
the removal of liberation,
of freedom.

and when freedom is gone,
what room is left for chance?

it's not fair.
we have time and space against us.

never will we be thrown together in class to work long hours on a project or spend hours studying together for mutual tests and exams.
never will we eat a casual meal together because we both happen to be in the dining hall or decide to grab an impromptu bite because we both happen to be hungry and free.
never will we share a quick conversation, a snapshot of a moment, because we happen to be heading in the same direction or find ourselves on the same bus.

never will any of these casual seeds of friendship be scattered inadvertently,
effortlessly.

no, for us,
each seed has to be planted
intentionally,
painstakingly,
tentatively.

every act, every interaction
can only exist as the product of
deliberation,
initiation,
intention.

we must will it to happen,
must engineer it out of a mutual desire.

we can't count on getting the least bit of help on this one.