pixelated

i feel so much angst
and not the poetic kind
the kind that makes me want to dance, no,
stomp my fingers across the keyboard and spawn cacophonous nonsense.
i try to write things of substance, to be real with myself,
to explain my heart to my brain,
to impose my brain on my heart,
but i can't
i can't
i can't
i can't
i can't
i freaking can't
because every time i try to organize my thoughts my frustration whirlwinds in like it owns the place and i'm back to square one
maybe it's even blown me past that and onto some obscure negative squares

we were pixelated,
how fitting.
but at least pixels have enough substance to abridge a gaping hole

i'm not going to hide behind lyrics this time-
damn, i miss you tonight.
that's one of the few thing i'm sure of.