off again

to be whisked off at 2am in a van of pseudo-strangers
to impose on a group of church kids who all grew up together and went to this camp since they themselves were in the cottage, the village, that other section for teens beginning with "n"
see, i don't even know the terms!
and now, we're all staff at this camp
to them, as familiar and beloved as aurora is to me
i'm so intimidated
it's not just being a counselor at a camp i've never been to
but the fact that things are so different here
they emphasize different things
boys and girls sit on opposite sides of the room in folding chairs rather than strewn about a floor as intimate as those born brothers and sisters
everyone dresses up-
jeans aren't allowed, girls don heels, blouses, and skirts
worship involves sitting down and words are sung under breaths
the only belting is done by leather strips holding up the guys' dress pants
no one claps or grooves to the music or raises their hands in surrender
i know, i know
they're little things
i'm not judging
or at least i'm trying not to
i'm just observing.

and this camp is supposedly even more conservative
the packing list confused me so
what is there left to be worn?

your silence also confuses me
and now i'm off again
my turn to be silent.

forget you.