i can only hope
that i've made a difference in your life these past couple years-

that your world might be a more colorful, beautiful, lovable place.





it was worth it,
all of it.

this is what dreams are made of

disneyland, california

feels something like summertime

santa monica beach, california

analogy #3802734

while walking to the simi valley mall, treading on the golden train summer has trailing on the sidewalk, the wind blew in another analogy for our hypothetical book:

a christian relationship is like southern californian weather- its golden rays warm your very soul and makes you giddy, just like passion and the flurry of firsts in a relationship. it has you smitten, but not just for a spell because the breeze is like jesus, and having him in your relationship makes sure you don't burn out and get a heat stroke and allows you to enjoy it for longer :)

jesus is my everything

He even cuts my hair :)

no, my hair dresser's name isn't hay-zeus.
it's usually tiger, but sometimes william, not that he changes his name, but i just get my hair cut by whoever my mom wants.

but i really don't have any opinions on how i want my hair to look, unlike my brother who is mad picky about his haircuts, but me, i'm very eh! instead, before every haircut, and even during, i pray that jesus will give my hair dresser wisdom and be the one cutting my hair. i mean, it makes sense because we pray for our doctors to be filled with jesus and administer under His guidance, so why not hair dressers? after all, He created us and He above all people would know what looks best on our heads, what brings out the exact shade He's colored in our eyes, what complements the shape of our face He so carefully formed. it just makes so much sense. and sometimes, i close my eyes and imagine that i'm sitting in front of Jesus and He's lovingly considering each lock of hair that He's put on my head and it just makes me smile.

so yup, all this to say i got a haircut sunday night.

los angeles

oh toto, i've a feeling we're not in shanghai anymore.
but i've gotta say, this weather's got me impressed.

home is

a freaking unicorn-
beautifully elusive.

"home is where the heart is"
if you ask me,
a heart is a ridonkulous place for a home,
in fact i've never heard of a worst idea.
heart's are unbeatably, unbearably fragile,
ever changing like the shifting-sands.
didn't we learn anything from the foolish man who built his house upon the sand?

oh well, it doesn't matter what a "home" is.
shanghai is, and will always be, home.

of course it was you

it's always you

so, that's why it matters
that's what makes all the difference
that's what's important to me
that's why it's worth waiting for

i remember now

song in me

i miss you
i miss singing along
i miss the song in me

instead of going out tonight and probably ending up even more confused,
i stayed in my room on my comfy little bed and wrote a song.

sing to me this song once more
sing to me of promises and dreams not out of reach
gently hang the stars back in the sky for me

"simba, remember who you are."

sigh, i couldn't forget even if i wanted to-
and believe me, i have tried.

and all that's come out of trying is the realization that
i can't run from people's expectations of me because they're my own too.

i just.
it's just.
i can't.
i know.
i wish.
i want.
i long.
i know.
i just.
but.

GAH.
:(