"how've you been these days?"

whenever i hear that question,
anything really with "these days" in that context
i always answer only with what i did today, yesterday at most.

usually, mostly, consciously, in the past
it's because "these days" is so vast, i wouldn't know where to start,
not to mention i don't remember it all off the top of my head.

but i was thinking about it today when you asked me,
of course you're the one who triggered these thoughts, these words.

here's my theory, and i kind of hope i'm wrong:
if someone really cared about how i was "these days"
they would have asked me on those days.

we live in such a tech savvy age that there's no real excuse for not asking other than a lack of interest.

and i know this applies to me, too. and i guess that's why i do think it's true. because when i really examine my life and my interactions and my relationships..

well, except for the cases where i do care,
i care so much, but i'm afraid to let the other person know i care,
afraid to come on too strong, afraid to annoy,
afraid of an uninterested answer,
afraid

so i don't ask.

but that's not why you haven't asked.
and so that's why i can only let myself tell you what i ate for breakfast today.

not because i don't care to tell you,
not because i feel like you don't "deserve" to know,
but simply because i'm so afraid that you don't care to know-
it's insecurity, you see.