aPart

Stan sat on the edge of it all. This is not in fact saying much- I might as well say he was simply sitting, for “it all” quite clearly has no edge. But there he sat, alone. He couldn’t imagine that it was possible to sit any further and still continue existing- in his mind, he was, in fact, sitting on the edge of it all, on the most remote of frays, not even a face in the crowd.

Stan sat swathed in silence. He watched the sunset unfurl her majestic hues, shaking out her long golden train and spilling all across the sky the reds and oranges she had kept in her folds all day. But no color touched him, not even the setting sun could dash a smear of rose on his complexion. His grey eyes stared out of his ashen face at the fiery display and for a moment, he thought he recognized the shade of red that lit up the sky, but before he could secure it to a memory, it slipped off into the darkness with a sullen violet trailing close behind.

By the time all the colors had cleared the sky, Stan had already forgotten all about the color red. He sat with his pallid shoulders slumped and waited. He knew that the Stars would soon be arriving in their dark vehicles. Not that they were coming to see him, he knew this full well, but they were the only ones that even neared him and he reveled in their proximity.

Now, these aren’t Stars as you and I know them. They aren’t the ones gracing the covers of magazines seated impatiently on grocery store racks or strewn lazily across coffee tables. Neither are they the distant specks that wink at you from the dark expanse overhead if you can hold their gaze for long enough. These Stars are simply Stars, in the same way Peters are Peters and Norahs are Norahs. They simply exist.

Not that these Stars don’t love attention as much as any variety of stars. Then again, who doesn’t? Attention fuels us, whether we admit it or not. Unlike approval, attention is as basic as food and water and air. The very absence of attention can cause one to eventually disappear. Many-a-planets have met this very end. They quietly slip away one night and we never hear about it. After all, in order to notice their absence, we would’ve first had to notice their presence, and if we had, they wouldn’t have disappeared in the first place. Stan knew this.

He heard their twinkling mirth before he saw them. He knew all their names and they didn’t even know his face. There was Lola, prancing about in silver heels. There was Georgina, fiercely protective of her sisters. There was Annette, absolutely always hungry. There was Jordan, there was Serena, there was Bridget, and of course, there was Adrienne. Adrienne was the kindest and silliest of the girls and Stan had long decided he liked her best, but it didn’t matter, she never noticed him either.

“Let’s go dancing,” suggested Lola.

“Can we get food?” Annette looked pleadingly at Georgina.

Serena ignored Annette. “Oh, Lola, I spent all day choreographing the most wonderful dance routine and I can’t wait to show you!”

Of course, all the girls, Annette included, wanted Serena to teach them the dance routine as well.

Stan watched, enthralled, as the girls lined up behind Serena and followed as she chasséd and pirouetted and leapt across the sky.

The girls quickly learned the new dance routine and they began improvising and adding their own personal touches. Soon, they were whirling and twirling across the sky in a perfectly harmonious symphony of movement.

Stan closed his eyes and he could practically hear the music they danced to.

When he opened his eyes, he was shocked to find Adrienne fallen and her sisters gathered around her.

“Don’t worry about it, I think I just twisted my ankle. I’ll just sit down for a while, it’s no biggie.” And with a reassuring smile directed at her sisters, she sat down beside Stan, less than three feet away.

Stan was horrified. He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The very thought of the attention he had so craved now paralyzed him.

A minute passed. Then five. He finally mustered the courage to open one eye. She was still there next to him. Her sisters had resumed their dance and she was watching them adoringly. He opened both eyes now and watched her watch them.

Time passed. Stan didn’t know exactly how long. He was focused entirely on Adrienne. She sat with her knees hugged to her chest and her chin resting on her knee. Her auburn curls tumbled off her shoulders endlessly and when the wind picked up, he caught a whiff of coconut and honey.

“H,” he breathed out. She didn’t hear him.

He had forgotten the word.

“H,” he tried again, a little louder.

She twitched her head slightly towards him and her blue eyes narrowed and looked around curiously.

This was his chance. “H,” he managed to sound out.

She looked around intently this time but looked right past him. “Hello?” she asked, her voice soft and curious rather than nervous.

That was the word!

“H…Hello.” There! He’d said it!

“Oh!” Her clear blue eyes had found him. He had never noticed before now how blue her eyes were.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t notice you there,” she confessed. “Have you been there for long?” She stared at him wide-eyed, chewing on her lower lip. Stan could tell she was upset with herself.

“No, I just got here,” he reassured her.

She relaxed and gave him a toothy smile. “I’m Adrienne.” She stuck out her hand.

He hesitated before extending his own hand, but not quite far enough to reach hers. “I’m Stan.”

He really wished that they weren’t taking things so fast. He would have been much more comfortable with a wave, but he couldn’t just leave her hanging. He shook her hand quickly and then withdrew his hand and folded his arms.

She smiled at his unusual behavior.

Neither of them said anything for a while as they watched her sisters dance.

Time passed and finally, she turned to him again. She stared at his head thoughtfully, “I didn’t notice how red your hair was.”

“Red,” he repeated to himself. He remembered now. “Thanks,” he mumbled shyly and looked away. He could feel his cheeks flushing.

He didn’t know what to say to her but he was afraid that if he didn’t say something soon, she would get up and sit somewhere else. He sneaked a furtive glance at her.

She was intently tracing triangles into the dust with her pinky.

He tried to remember what he knew about triangles, it had been so long since he talked to anyone about anything, let alone triangles. “Equilateral triangles are my favorite…too,” he ventured, motioning to the set of triangles in front of her.

She looked up at him with her twinkling blue eyes and when she saw that he was being serious, she couldn’t help but giggle.

When was the last time he had giggled? Maybe he never had. He decided to give it a try.

“Heh,” he sounded out. It didn’t quite sound the same as hers. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Heehee.”

She watched him in amazement and laughed. And before he realized what he was doing, he was laughing too. They fell over in the dust laughing, but the grayness couldn’t touch them. They laughed about triangles and they laughed about dust on the tips of their noses and they laughed at each other laughing.

Their laughter rung out, arousing the young sun who subsequently woke the sky. The sky lazily stretched and filled the world then set about trying on all his colorful garments before settling, as he had yesterday and the day before and for years and years, on his favorite shade of blue.

Stan sat sun-kissed by the morning light. He couldn’t help but agree whole-heartedly that blue was a good color indeed.