i feel like i'm settling

in so many different ways.

i'm not where i'm supposed to be.
i'm not where i want to be.
i'm going through the motions.
i'm committing to what is easy.

i close my eyes,
cover my ears,
sing la-la-la-la-la-
there's nothing more,
nothing better.

i'm in denial.

and i sit and quickly write this down,
before i convince myself otherwise again.

i can't have him-
this is better than nothing.

is this better than nothing?